The legend Bob Marley once said, “One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.”

Marley’s quote does ring some truth to it, but I’ve discovered that lots of us use music as a method to deal with our pain, and one of the most potentially painful things that a teenager has to go through is a breakup.

Whether you were the dumper or the dumpee, it’s never easy to say goodbye to someone who once stayed up all night with you on the phone, was there whenever you needed them, and made you extremely happy at one point in your life.

Now, to all the men reading this column, I’d like to apologize in advance, because to be frank, it’s going to be very estrogen heavy. Here we go.

Going through a breakup doesn’t mean your life is over and that it’s the end of all happiness. Allow yourself 48 hours to lay in bed and eat ice cream and mope and listen to overly depressing Taylor Swift and Mayday Parade songs, but after that, you’ve got to snap out of it!

I’ve realized that teenagers — particularly teenage girls — love to make themselves even more sad than they already are by listening to depressing music when they’re down. While there may be something comforting in knowing that someone else out there is suffering just as badly as you are, I challenge you all to try something new next time you’re blasting “Miserable at Best” and crying into your pillow: listen to something that will make you feel better about yourself.

Music has a profound impact on our moods and emotions, and there’s nothing better than hearing a song that empowers you at the very moment that you need the most empowerment.

First, I’d like to take a moment to point something out. For all you Taylor Swift fans out there, in her song “Breathe,” it’s pretty evident that she’s going through a rough time. There was a time in my life where I was completely able to relate to that song, and my heart broke out of empathy for Taylor, but now that I’ve grown and realized a lot this past year, I realize just how completely weak and — to be frank — dumb Taylor sounds in that song.

“Cause it’s tragedy and it’ll only bring you down,/ Now I don’t know what to be without you around./ And we know it’s never simple, never easy./ Never a clean break, no one here to save me./ You’re the only thing I know like the back of my hand,/ And I can’t breathe without you/ But I have to.”

Now, I don’t mean to sound insensitive, because I know how much it hurts, but you can breathe without that special person. Your ex does not define who you are as a person, and by Taylor saying that she needs to be “saved,” and that she “doesn’t know what to do,” just makes her — and women everywhere — seem weak and pathetic. We can be strong and beautiful and independent on our own, and we will be.

So, Niles West, I’ve come up with a list of the top breakup songs to listen to when all you want to do is break down.

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POP

1. “Stronger” by Britney Spears.We’re starting off with the Queen of Pop herself. From Justin Timberlake to K-Fed, Britney has been through it all, and she still manages to keep her head up. (Aside from the year 2006. It’s okay, Britney, that was a rough year for us all). Britney proudly sings that she’s”had enough/ I’m not your property as from today, baby/ You might think that I won’t make it on my own/ But now I’m/ Stronger than yesterday/ Now it’s nothing but my way/ My lonliness ain’t killing me no more/ I’m stronger.”She’s proving to herself and to her man that she can be without him, and not only will she be okay without him, but she will be stronger without him bringing her down. Let this be a lesson to us all.
2. “Survivor” by Destiny’s Child.“Thought I couldn’t breathe without you/ I’m inhaling/ You thought I couldn’t see without you/ Perfect vision/ You thought I couldn’t last without you/ But I’m lastin’/ You thought that I would die without you / But I’m livin’/ Thought that I would fail without you / But I’m on top/ Thought it would be over by now/ But it won’t stop/ Thought that I would self destruct/ But I’m still here/ Even in my years to come/ I’m still gon’ be here.” The dynamic trio says everything that needs to be said through their powerful lyrics. It’s all about succeeding and being happy when you’re expected to fail. The best revenge is being happy, but Destiny’s Child doesn’t even want revenge. The girls claim that even though it may have been a bitter ending, they’re still wishing their ex the best, praying that he is blessed, and that his life is filled with success, no stress, and lots of happiness. Contrary to how lots of other women deal with breakups, they promise that they’re not going to “diss him on the internet” because their mama taught them “better than that.” We would all do well to follow Destiny’s Child’s example, and handle breakups in a mature and gracious way (something that is much easier said than done).
3. “Since U Been Gone” by Kelly Clarkson.
   
   Clarkson’s song, though still empowering, is slightly different from Britney’s and Destiny’s Child’s. She reminisces on the good times of her relationship, but goes on to talk about how destructive it actually was. “But Since U Been Gone/ I can breathe for the first time/ I’m so moving on/ Yeah, yeah/ Thanks to you/ Now I get (I get) what I want/ Since U Been Gone/ You had your chance you blew it/ Out of sight, out of mind.” Not only is she moving forward, but she’s not giving second chances. If you give someone a part of your life, and they don’t know how to treat you, say goodbye and don’t look back. There’s no point in taking one step forward if you’re going to take three steps back.

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COUNTRY

1. “Mama’s Broken Heart” by Miranda Lambert.Miranda is notorious for being the queen of crazy breakup songs. Though “Mama’s Broken Heart” does reveal a bit of her crazy side when she talks about getting revenge, for the most part, she gives good advice.”Powder your nose, paint your toes/ Line your lips and keep ’em closed/ Cross your legs, dot your eyes/ And never let ’em see you cry/ Go and fix your make up, well it’s just a break up/ Run and hide your crazy and start actin’ like a lady/ ‘Cause I raised you better, gotta keep it together/ Even when you fall apart/ But this ain’t my mama’s broken heart.” Essentially, Miranda is saying that even if you’re falling apart on the inside, there’s no reason to show it on the outside. Yes, you can vent to your sister or mom or best friend, but there’s no reason to let the person who broke you know that you’re broken because of him. Miranda’s advice is something that I’ll be sure to remember throughout the rest of my life: keep it together even when you fall apart
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2. “You’ll Think Of Me” by Keith Urban.Being one of the more sad, slow ballads, it may be hard to tell that this is a song that can help you get through a breakup at first, but the longer you listen, the more you’ll realize it. “Someday I’m gonna run across your mind/ Don’t worry, I’ll be fine/ I’m gonna be alright/ While you’re sleeping with your pride/ Wishing I could hold you tight/ I’ll be over you/ And on with my life/ So take your records, take your freedom/ Take your memories, I don’t need ’em.”Once something has ended, it’s impossible to just erase those memories. Whether it was ended by you because you realized that you deserved to be treated better, or by your ex, because she/he thought she/he could do better than you, she/he will think of you, and if you did nothing but treat your lover right, then one day — maybe not soon, but eventually — you will cross their mind. The best part is that while you’re out there happily living your life, your ex will realize just what she/he is missing out on, and they’ll regret it.”
3. “Been There, Done That” by Luke Bryan.When going through a breakup, there are always a million reasons you can think of to go back to your ex. “But our relationship was so cute!/He/she was so sweet to me!/My family loved him/her.”Whatever the reason may be, it’s sometimes hard to remember that there’s a reason why all those memories are past tense. In Luke Bryan’s “Been There, Done That,” he reminds us of what we sometimes seem to forget: the bad in the relationship, and why you decided to leave it in the first place.”I guess it just took too long for me to see/ We weren’t meant to be/ I’ll wake up, and I’ll start to second guess myself/ And I’ll crave your touch, oh but I know too well…/ That I ain’t, I ain’t coming back/ I’ve already been there done that/ And I’m done with you messing with my mind/ The last time’s the last time baby.”Luke reminds us to stay true to ourselves, and that going back to a relationship time and time again isn’t going to make the relationship better. It’s called a breakup because it’s broken, and there are only so many times before you can glue the pieces back together before they become irreparable.

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BOY BANDS

1. “Break Your Little Heart” by All Time Low.Known for their crude humor, All Time Low has no boundaries in this ballad.”I’m moving on but you’re left behind/ A pretty face but the chase ain’t worth the prize/ I’m gonna break your little heart/ Watch you take the fall/ Laughing all the way to the hospital/ ‘Cause there’s nothing surgery can do/ I’m gonna break your little heart.” It may seem like the band is being a bit cruel, but if you’ve been majorly screwed over, you can’t help but laugh and sing along to these lyrics as you blast them in your car. As Alex Gaskarth says: “a pretty face, but the chase ain’t worth the prize.” Just because someone looks cute next to you in pictures, doesn’t mean that they’re the one for you. Slap your self in the face a few times, avert your eyes from their hypnotizing good looks, and see the person for who they truly are.
2. “Reckless” by You Me At Six.My personal favorite. Whether or not you’re a fan of this genre, “Reckless” is the ultimate breakup song.” Don’t hold your breath, I’m not losing sleep over you/ I’m Mr Reckless with a capital R/ Don’t hold your breath, I’m not losing sleep over you/ I’m Mr Reckless, and you’re defenseless/ And isn’t it funny how/ Those black clouds follow you around?/ It’s Karma smiling down/ Just let me know when it’s in town.” The lyrics really don’t do the song justice; you have to actually listen to it to get the full affect. Once you hear it, I guarantee that you’ll feel at least a little better, and the chorus will be stuck in your head all day long.
3. “Hum Hallelujah” by Fall Out Boy.I’m not really sure if Fall Out Boy falls under the “Boy Band” category — to me they’re more punk-rock — but they’re here nonetheless. “Hum Hallelujah” is one of my all time favorite songs that really helped me through a rough breakup. My favorite thing about Fall Out Boy is the way they phrase their lyrics. It just blows my mind. I don’t understand how they come up with it. You don’t have to agree with me, but I believe that they are geniuses.”So hum hallelujah,/ Just off the key of reason/ I thought I loved you/ It was just how you looked in the light./ A teenage vow in a parking lot/ “Till tonight do us part”/ I sing the blues and swallow them too.” Now, there are many interpretations to this song. It’s said to be an autobiography to bassist Pete Wentz‘s life, among other things, but I’m interpreting it from the perspective of a teenage girl who’s discussing the topic of breakups.What I love most about this song is how honest it is. It really highlights the uncertain roller coaster ride of being in love as a teenager. I’m not saying that just because we’re young we’re incapable of strong feelings. I’m only eighteen, and I can honestly say that I’ve been in love, but I believe that there’s a very strong difference between the love we experience now, and the love that we will experience when we’re older.”A teenage vow in a parking lot ’till tonight do us part.'” My favorite line. The teenage vow in the parking lot shows how carelessly — and sometimes easily — we give love away due to lack of life lessons and other factors. “Till tonight do us part,” shows how nothing is certain, especially when you’re in a relationship at a young age. One day, you could be madly in love, and the next night, it could all end.To me, this song is a good breakup song because it shows that while love is real and amazing when we’re young, it’s still a crazy roller coaster ride that none of us knew what we were getting ourselves into, but that’s okay, because there’s still hope for an even better love in the future.

So, next time you catch yourself moping and listening to sappy love songs, try some of the songs that I suggested instead. Not only are they great to remind you why you’re great, but there are additional songs by the artists listed that can prove to be very helpful. After all, music is the best form of therapy.