- Sophomore Alyssa Guzman on respect.
“Ew, that’s so gay!”
“Stop being so gay.”
“What a faggot.”
These are the things I hear while walking through the halls of Niles West. Most people just ignore it, since it’s such a common insult in today’s society, but does that make it okay? The answer is an overwhelming no.
With the upcoming Day of Silence that will take place on Friday, April 20, people who use “gay'”as an insult need to realize that it isn’t just a meaningless word; it represents a lifestyle choice, and using it as a derogatory term is not only insulting to people who are gay, bisexual, lesbian, transgender, or questioning, but it is also insulting to people who support all sexual orientations, no matter if they are heterosexual or not.
Sophomore Emma Lazar is also offended by the carelessness of some people.
“I was on Facebook, and I was disturbed to see a comment on a picture that jokingly said, ‘how gay are we?’ and another comment that called someone a ‘fag.’ I just didn’t think it was right to use words in that way because it offends people who are in the LGBT [lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender] community. I’m not gonna lie, I used to say it because it’s such a norm in society, and I sat back and thought, ‘this is awful. Why am I insulting people who are not straight?'”
Gershom Chan, a sophomore, agrees with Lazar.
“You’re never going to hear someone say, ‘that’s so straight’ [as an insult]),” he said.
There’s no denying that using terms such as “that’s gay,” and “faggot,” as insults are carelessly overused, which is exactly why celebrities have been trying to raise awareness.
The popular punk rock band Rise Against discouraged slandering people of different sexual orientations with their song “Make It Stop.” The music video shows three homosexual teenagers being relentlessly bullied in school, which ultimately leads to them attempting suicide. The message in the video is to encourage teenagers of the LGBT community who are struggling in high school now to fight through it, because it does get better.
In an MTV article that addressed the band’s stance on the LGBT community, lead singer Tim Mcilrath clearly stated his opinion.
“I found a lot of fans who were unsure about how we felt about if our fans were gay, and that broke my heart, to think that any one of our fans might even question for a second where we stand on that,” he said.
Miami Heat players Grant Hill and Jared Dudley, as well as pop star Hilary Duff are only a few of the many celebrities involved in the Think Before You Speak program, who’s primary goal is to reduce the usage of using ‘gay’ as an insult.
Sophomore Valya Borisova, a member of the LGBT community, it nonchalant about the term. “It’s just kind of awkward,” she said, “I don’t care what people say, but it’s awkward to be described that way.”
Senior Bryan Taico has a slightly different stance than fellow LGBT member Borisova.
“For a while, I was bothered about it every day, but honestly, it just makes me mad at the stupidity and idiocy levels. How would it be if I said, ‘that’s so black?’ or ‘that’s so Indian, or white?’ I would probably be suspended, and by saying ‘that’s so gay,’ you’re saying that the gay community is dumb, and we’re not. If you’re going to say something like that, say ‘that’s so dumb,’ or ‘that’s idiotic.'”
Statistics show that 9 out of 10 LGBT students have been harassed at school, and 1/3 have been physically abused due to their own personal choices.
Social worker Stephanie Hentz is hopeful that through general education, we can learn the impact that that phrase has on people and the school’s environment.
“The continued use of the phrase ‘that’s so gay,’ represents a number of things. The first would be ignorance. Kids don’t understand that what they say impacts other people. It also represents conscious or subconscious fears or biases or people who are, or are accused of being gay… Using that phrase means that we’re not respecting to each other. Everyone, and students in particular, need to realize that that’s not okay,” she said.
When you say that’s gay, do you realize what you say? Knock it off.
Reader • Apr 19, 2012 at 12:19 AM
I am sorry if I offended anyone, I only wished to correct what I thought might have been a typo since I believe that people are born gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc. and have learned that it is both false and wrong to assume people choose their sexual orientation. Also, I too have never heard of anyone choosing to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc. just what word best defined their personal identity, whether it was gay, lesbian, bisexual, questioning, or any other word(s).
Kgirl • Apr 18, 2012 at 12:11 PM
I think another point of this article is to get people to participate in the day of silence and if they are unable to do so, to respect those that do participate.
Colene Gibson • Apr 18, 2012 at 9:33 AM
As the editor-in-chief of NWN, I would like to clarify just a few things for those of you commenting.
First of all, thank you all for your interest in Alyssa’s column. Her intention for this column was to bring awareness to the fact that what we say has consequences. Sometimes people say things without realizing that they are hurtful to others, which is why this column was published. Clearly given the response, this point was made.
Secondly, Alyssa’s decision to speak out about this was courageous. Alyssa had the courage to state her opinion on this topic even though she knew there would be people that disagreed with her opinion even if it is just because her topic related to sexuality. Anonymous comments with no real name show the fact that speaking out on this subject is difficult and risks being disagreed with. Writing this column with her photo and name on the byline was a very courageous act on Alyssa’s behalf.
My third point is that the purpose of this column was not to debate whether or not homosexuality is a lifestyle choice. Alyssa can voice her opinion in the comment section. NWN–as a whole–is not choosing one side or the other; this is one staff member’s opinion, which she has the right to express. Feel free to voice your opinions in the comment section, but there is no need to be harsh or condesending to each other about it. Each person is entitled to their opinion, but if you chose to express your own or reflect on another persons’ opinion, please be respectful in doing so.
Sproat • Apr 18, 2012 at 9:13 AM
I feel lifestyle choice is a correct term. When you are born, you don’t know whether you’re gay or straight, at that point you don’t have enough realization about yourself to determine something like your sexuality. That’s why it takes time later in life to realize whether you’re gay or straight, it’s not a “choice” per say, but it is a time of realization of your own sexuality. This has gotten to a point where you’re bashing on the author, yet you’re missing her main point. She’s saying overall that she supports the LGBT community and is standing up for them when people use derogatory statements. So look at the main point and stop trolling this article.
Somebody, Someone • Apr 17, 2012 at 4:24 PM
I feel that the phrase “That’s so gay!” is insulting, because it implies that “gay” has a negative connotation. And really, being gay is not a bad thing, at all. It just means that you are attracted to the same sex. What’s the difference? Love is love, after all. I’m wholeheartedly participating in the Day of Silence on Friday, and I hope many others will too.
A person • Apr 20, 2012 at 12:13 AM
If your child was gay or lesbian would you support them or would you feel ashamed?
Alyssa Guzman • Apr 20, 2012 at 3:00 PM
I would support them.
Another Reader • Apr 17, 2012 at 2:10 PM
this article is NOT clear on your point of view.
You keep changing your mind. This article is mostly about celebrities campaigning and some statistics but you never addressed the root of a problem. A column should address both sides of the issue, not just through out a bunch of jargon and thoughts associated to a topic, which is what this is. Quotes don’t mean anything unless there is something to back it up with.
First of all, you did not “choose” to be straight one day. You have grown up with it in you all alone. If you honestly think you woke up one day and decided you were a full-fledged straight person and you would be forever, you have a horrible memory. People don’t wake up and decide to be gay.
As for a lifestyle choice, gay people can live completely “hetero” lifestyles, if there is such a thing. They don’t have to be “out” there with their sense of style or the way they talk or think. A boy could talk about sex, play football, eat cheeseburgers and have a deep voice and still be gay, and he would have no control over that. There isn’t a barrier between a “gay” and a “straight” lifestyle. Your t argument is inconsistent.
Another Reader • Apr 16, 2012 at 12:38 AM
While I do not believe that calling people names is ok, I think that it is important to think about what goes when a person uses the word “gay” in the way mentioned in the article.
I would assume that when people say “That’s so gay”, they aren’t thinking about homosexuality. They aren’t linking the “dumbness” or “stupidity” of whatever it may be with homosexuality. The word gay has had other meanings, long ago it used to mean “carefree” or “happy”, then it changed to mean homosexual, and now its meaning has changed yet again to mean “lame” or “stupid”.
jack • Apr 16, 2012 at 8:42 PM
Not really, the meaning is still the same. Gay means homosexual, and using it to “mean” stupid is ignorant.
Another Reader • Apr 17, 2012 at 6:21 PM
If that’s true, wouldn’t it also have been ignorant of the people who started using it to mean homosexual, when it had previously meant something else?
Anonymous • Apr 17, 2012 at 6:38 PM
No. Another Reader is completely right. Gay is still a term used to describe homosexuals, but it has also taken the form of being a derogatory term as more and more people have used it in that context. It’s not unreasonable for a word to have multiple meanings. It’s also not unreasonable for language to change over a period of time. Gay used to mean happy, and you don’t see anyone getting worked up over it being used for homosexuals, do you? That would be just silly.
If you’re going to argue that using the word gay to mean stupid is “ignorant,” then I could say that using words like moron, idiot, and retarded to mean stupid is “ignorant,” too. Gays aren’t any better than mentally handicapped people, are they? Why isn’t anybody thinking about them?
Isabelle • Apr 18, 2012 at 9:10 AM
Using retarded to mean stupid is ignorant and offensive, just like using gay is ignorant and offensive. The reason this article was written and not one about using the word retarded is because the Day of Silence is coming up this week and the NWN is trying to raise awareness for the LGBTQ community. The reason this is such an important point is because gay is a term used to describe a group of people who have constantly been put down throughout their history, it is much like using black to mean stupid.
Anonymous • Apr 18, 2012 at 5:55 PM
The article itself advises you to use words such as dumb and idiotic in place of gay when use of those words in a derogatory manner can in fact be equally offensive to mentally handicapped individuals.
And that still doesn’t address the fact that language can change with time.
Not all members of the LGBTQ community are offended by the usage of the word gay. None of my homosexual friends are, actually. Gay is not an insult to homosexual people and I wish more people would realize that.
Another Reader • Apr 21, 2012 at 12:50 PM
The word moron used to mean “mentally retarded”. Now, people use it to mean “stupid” and anything similar to that. Why is there is controversy about that?
alyssa guzman • Apr 14, 2012 at 10:41 PM
As for the part in the article that refers to being gay as a “lifestyle choice,” I would like to clarify a few things. First off, I didn’t mean to offend anyone. I’ll admit that my word choice was careless. The point that I was trying to get across was that I believe that being gay is something that you realize at a certain point in your life, just as some people realize that theyre straight at a certain point in their life. Granted, human sexuality is a very complicated thing, and everyone has their own thoughts on it. This piece was meant to support people of the LGBT community, so I just wanted to clarify my personal opinion in hopes not to offend anyone.
Straight Female • Apr 15, 2012 at 1:13 AM
Alyssa, I think your apology just proves that you think gay is a “lifestyle choice”. I appreciate the apology, but you obviously do not understand the fundamental thesis of being gay. Additionally while it was all nice that you wrote this article, the way you use “lifestyle choice” is equally offensive to the LGBT community as the word “gay” is. Do you know what you say when you say “lifestyle choice”? Knock it off.
Alyssa Guzman • Apr 16, 2012 at 12:16 PM
Actually, a column is meant to express one’s beliefs. It’s clear through this article that my intention was not to offend anyone, and if you read my previous comment carefully, I said that human sexuality is a complicated thing. I’m not pretending that I’m an expert on homosexuality or even heterosexuality; there’s still a lot that I don’t know, but what I am trying to voice is that I believe (as in my personal opinion) is that everyone decides their sexuality at some point in their life.
At a certain point in my life, I realized that I was straight, making that my choice, similar to how people of the LGBT community realize at a certain point in their life that they’re attracted to people of the same sex, or maybe even both sexes, therefore declaring their choice.
That choice then leads to a decision that you will more than likely stick to for the rest of your life, which makes your sexuality a lifestyle.
P.s: “the way you use “lifestyle choice” is equally offensive to the LGBT community as the word “gay” is.”
I’d just like to point out that I appreciate how you’re trying to stand up for people of the LGBT community, similar to how I am, but I find it ironic how you are voicing their opinions as to what they think is offensive, while you’re making it quite clear that you’re a “straight female.” It’s safe to assume by your name that you’re not a part of the LGBT community, which really amuses me since you, a straight female, are telling me just how offensive using the term “lifestyle choice” is, when you’re speaking as a third party.
jack • Apr 16, 2012 at 8:40 PM
come on, give her a break. trolling the nwn at 1 in the morning? please. being gay is obviously not a choice, she knows this and has apologized for the choice of words. the intent of the article is still valid.
person • Apr 17, 2012 at 4:18 PM
Gays are not born gay. It is a lifestyle choice.
jack • Apr 18, 2012 at 4:52 PM
you must be joking.
Kaine Osburn • Apr 14, 2012 at 9:39 PM
Regarding “Reader” first. I don’t know if there is a verdict from the scientific community on how biologically determined it is that someone is straight or gay or lesbian, but none of the gay men I have known have ever said being gay felt like a choice, like one chooses what to eat or what car to drive or even something deeper, like a religion. Likewise, have you ever known a straight person who said they “chose” to be straight? For “Straight Male,” someone might not “like” (I put in quotes because I am not sure what it means here, exactly) gay or lesbian or transgendered people, but in school free speech does not work exactly like it does outside the school walls. Outside the school context, one can spew almost anything, sadly, but schools can restrict speech, especially when it constitutes a threat to the health and safety of students and to the learning environment itself. Speech that denigrates others, no matter the reason, is speech the school can restrict, and should, because that ability potentially protects all students from harmful speech. Finally, I would hope outside school, even if one somehow believes homosexuality is wrong, that a person hasn’t been raised to use words or phrases to knowingly harm others. One might have a “right” to say many things, but doing so doesn’t make doing so right.
Reader • Apr 13, 2012 at 11:01 PM
Being gay is not “a lifestyle choice,” people are born who they are.
Alyssa Guzman • Apr 14, 2012 at 2:27 AM
The NWN didn’t mean to offend anyone – there are no actual facts that prove that being gay is something that you are or are not born with, but you are entitled to your own opinion.
Gigi • Apr 14, 2012 at 11:38 AM
Regardless of the facts, no one would “choose” to be gay, and the only thing different about a “gay lifestyle” is the person’s sexuality.
Straight Male • Apr 13, 2012 at 10:04 PM
What if someone dislikes gays and lesbians, they still have the freedom of speech to say those words and/or phrases?
Alyssa Guzman • Apr 14, 2012 at 2:24 AM
That’s a good point, and freedom of speech is probably one of the most important amendments, especially for teenagers, but there are also two things called morals and ethics. Even if someone is against members of the LGBT community, they need to have the respect and self control to restrain themselves from offending others. Some people perceive the phrase “that’s go gay,” or “that’s so retarded,” as a sign of ignorance, and being closed minded. In the end, the decision is yours. This column was just meant to be insightful and informative.